


Smoke and Mirrors

by Optima_chama



Series: Deception of the Eye [2]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Agoraphobia, Alcohol, Angst, Anti-Monster Sentiment, Blood and Injury, Claustrophobia, Cleithrophobia, Comedy, Dadster, Drugs, Eventual Smut, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Frisk is a Sweetheart, Gaster is a Good Father, Getting to Know Each Other, Goat Mom Is Best Mom, Growing of Trust, It's Not Paranoia If They're Really Out To Get You, Italian Mafia, Loss of Control, Loss of Virginity, M/M, Mafia AU of Kaleidoscope, Mafia Life, Multi, Mystery, Non-Binary Frisk, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Papy is a Gentleman, Politics, Protective Papyrus, Puns & Word Play, Reader Is Not Frisk, Reader Speaks Italian, Reader is a Sensual Badass, Romance, Secrets, Singing, Tags Are Fun, Things are Gonna Get Steamy Fellas, Violence, With a Bubbly Mask, pansexuality, reader is female
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-26
Updated: 2018-04-04
Packaged: 2019-02-06 13:07:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,442
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12818175
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Optima_chama/pseuds/Optima_chama
Summary: Ebott's Metropolis.It's a city of Wonder. Of Wealth. Of Dreams...But it's also a city of Danger.Circa 201X-- Monsters and Mages have been reintroduced to the world for quite some time... Five years for the former, four for the latter. The most dangerous part of Metropolis is Central Ebott, where the prestigious Family of Mages,L'aura Multipla, has had their ruthless puppeteer strings wrapped firmly around all forms in Society for decades, even before their revealed status as Magicians... That is, until Monster Mobs quickly grew to contest that corrupt power.With a practical revival of the 1920s, Prohibition of magical foods and drink has made many quite the fast fortune, and caused many a turf war. Politics are a mess. Modern technology has made catching any members of any Family extremely hard.But what would a small time singer like you know anything about that?...Unfortunately, quite a lot.





	1. The Introduction

Five years since the Migration.

When Sans the Skeleton had seen a scrawny little pup of a human child no older than the tender age of ten walking out of Old Home... Well, let's just say he hadn't expected to see the true light of day wash over the dilapidated Cities the civilization of Monsters had managed to create after being trapped inside a massive dome-like barrier that kept them hidden from the outside world.

The Humans on the outside certainly didn't expect it either.

There was a lot of... Resistance against the re-integration of Monsters into Society. Sans held some resentment in that regard, but he couldn't really blame them either; Upon being trapped for what Monsters had feared to be an eternity... The 'normalcy' that had been established wasn't exactly accepted in the sense of the human's Law.

...Or so they tried to say.

Monsters, upon realizing the position they were in, had attempted to play nice and quit their less-than-legal tendencies-- The human child mentioned before, Frisk, quickly led the Big Boss first hand into the world of politics. Asgore was the Big Boss of the Monsters for a reason after all, and soon charmed his way into a position that was advantageous for all of them. Monsters gained citizenship in less than two years.

The world was in shock and awe that a whole race had been existing right under their nose for centuries...

Only to get an even larger shock when humans with the ability to use magic, Mages, revealed themselves to the public as well... And many were in positions of power.

Things soon became... Tense.

And humans that held no magic at all of course just had to get pissy about the whole situation and make things harder for both magical groups.

The third year after the Barrier's Fall, a law in the United States was passed, formally prohibiting any magical food, drink, or item from being bought or sold. Monsters, and even Mages, didn't take too kindly to this law of course. But instead of riots and destruction, many resulted to take advantage of any loopholes they could find, and this led to a rise of organized crime across the country.

Trafficking of Illegal Goods.

The construction of Speakeasies.

...The rise of Mafia Families.

Nothing Monsters weren't used to. This had been their whole lives before the Migration after all.

Sans had to admit the Humans' penchant for innovation was effective though... And so was their Determination.

Mages weren't just going to share their political and economic power without a fight, let alone completely hand it over. Not when they've had the luxury of being able to get away with literal murder, courtesy of large amounts of money. They were the ones that formed the most (and strongest) opposition.

And the non-magical types... Well, they were bitter that their land was being 'tainted by crime and magic', so they would say. 'Vigilante groups' that were pretty much just glorified domestic terrorists also ran the streets, 'purifying them' by attacking monsters and humans that affiliated with them... Even innocent ones.

Not much dust and blood needed to hit the ground before Monster Mafia Families decided to turn their attention to protecting the streets... Mostly.

Of course, they needed cold hard cash to keep the Mobs up and running, but Monsters with power decided long before the Prohibition that they wished to wean off their dangerous past and keep the peace. It was just a... Work in Progress.

But there were a few upsides to this.

Evidently, not all humans were assholes. Shocking, truly. But what was even more surprising was there were even  _Mages_ that had no ill-will towards Monsters-- Some even actively showed that they wanted them around.

How did he know?

Well, soon after the bloodiest and dustiest turf war had transpired (resulting in the most loss of innocent lives and property to date), a Mafia Syndicate consisting of mostly Mages showed to the scene... And helped any mobs that made keeping the streets peaceful their priority. That included Monsters. They were incredibly strong, well supplied, handled situations extremely well, and what's more...

They only killed when absolutely necessary.

The _Maghi Del Pacifismo_ is what they called themselves. Sans didn't know a lick of Italian, but he was damn sure they got a few things right with that name.

And that wasn't even counting the one man... or rather woman, vigilante of the streets who's very name sent fear into those that slaughtered or maimed without provocation, despite not having killed a single being.

 _La Bambola Giudicatrice..._ The Judging Doll.

It was just much too bad that no official alliances could be made with either the group, or the Doll... They usually disappeared too fast from a scene after things were handled to make any real contact and were nigh impossible to track. It drove a certain info-collecting someone he knew absolutely insane that he could never find a  _single_ member of the MP unless they specifically wanted to be noticed, and the Doll practically fell off the face of the earth until another situation arose.

Frisk, bless their Determined Soul, had started a career as a politician early at the crisp age of fifteen, trying to work towards getting the law founding the Prohibition repealed-- Apparently, this had happened earlier in human history with non-magical alcohol and was founded unconstitutional...? Whatever that meant... If the Prohibition was gone, there would be little reason for organized crime to continue to exist after all.

Racism, however, made the Supreme Court reluctant to do the same with this one.

But as much as Sans was ashamed to say it... He preferred the life of a Family Member.

That's not to say Sans didn't try to live a normal life in the very beginning. He truly did. With his younger brother, Papyrus, and his father at his side, he tried to give up his pistol for good.

It was rough though, attempting to quit cold turkey and try to find a 'respectable' job in a society that mostly gawked and sneered at you. He wasn't one to simply take disrespect lying down-- No monster was. Having to hold back from knocking some mouthy bastard's teeth in nearly every day for _three years_ was surprisingly stressful. There was a sense of relief that came with the Magic Prohibition; he had been doing this since his middle teen years after all, as had his brother and father.

He was no Boss of course--The idea of Sans being in charge of anything was enough to send him into heaving throes of laughter. That title went to the Man who Speaks in Hands, a fearsome and intelligent Monster that was the head of The Core, main supplier of magical technology and alcohol, and was as mysterious as the Ocean; no mere monster truly knew his face, let alone any human.

 _Il Sognatore_ , another aptly named Monster Family in power led by the Big Boss Asgore, knew him as an ally.

But Sans knew him as W.D. Gaster. His father.

And with a connection like that, a dance with danger and death was a regular occurrence for him and his brother, no matter what job or detail it was that they had to handle. As comfortable as he was in Ebott's Underworld, he had wished that there could at least some sort of regular solace he could indulge in.

It wasn't long until it came in the form of _La Fiamma Elegante_.

A certain fiery ally of his that had once owned a bar on 'No Man's Land' back in Underground Ebott saw the obvious money-making potential that the Prohibition had created--Being supplied by The Core and giving a portion of the staggering amount of gold that was made each night in return, he made a solid business into the most popular monster-run speakeasy Ebott had ever seen. The blue fire elemental, Grillby, had always had a good eye for business.

He was also a good friend. Even if he wasn't in business with the Family, Sans would still make sure the establishment was always safe.

Sans came to the place for the friendly and tasteful atmosphere-- The food and drinks Grillby liked to experiment with was what usually made him stay if he didn't have to do a job afterward. And of course with his presence, there was an added sense of security, since not even the stupidest of the Rivals' grunts would attempt to anger The Core's Second in Command by coming in and causing trouble.

The feeling of  _La_ _Fiamma Elegante_ was very similar to Grillby's former bar, only a bit ritzier. And even now, with humans becoming regular costumers along with monsters, he still knew every face to some degree.

So when you first showed, he had noticed almost immediately.

But even when his sockets first laid eyes upon your lovely face, he had no idea just how deep you were in Ebott's Underworld...

Or how long the road to winning your heart would be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooooo, I had realized that my Mafiatale AU, along with another one, of Kaleidoscope didn't need the set up that Underfell, Fellswap, Underswap, and Underlust would need....
> 
> And as soon as I realized, I wrote it up.
> 
> Heh... I'm a glutton for punishment...


	2. The Songbird

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You were a vision to see. A feast for the eyes with the voice of a Goddess.
> 
> He hadn't managed to peek at your Soul before now, but... Surely your Soul would be just as lovely? Sans was practically sure of it.
> 
> Then why... Did he find such familiarity in your Being?
> 
>  
> 
> (Song is If I Ain't Got You by Alicia Keys.)

The mood was perfect.

Chandeliers twinkled just right in the dim lighting, faint trails of smoke wafted from the glowing ends of cigars and vapor pens to create an almost hazy air to the scene. Soft murmurs of hushed conversations and rowdy laughter of the jollier merrymakers created the summarized emotions of something light and easy on the Soul. The spacious dance hall was always animated and tonight was no exception; spry bodies of both men and women, monster and human with varying levels of dancing skill bustled provocatively over the floor, and it brought a smile to many a mouth to see a sort of camaraderie between the two races--One not often seen on the outside of the welcoming walls of _La Fiamma Elegante._

You had come here quite often to enjoy the calm and friendly atmosphere; T'was not a new sight to you in the slightest.

What  _was_ new, however, was you performing for the crowd.

~~_Can't escape..._ ~~

You inhaled deeply, attempting to keep your thoughts away from phobic anxiety, your careful fingers coming up to grip the precious small silver cross hanging on a thin but strong chain around your neck. You gave it a gentle squeeze as you held your breath, effectively hidden from sight by thick red-violet curtains as Mettaton, your recruiter and sassy as hell best friend in show business, began to hype up the crowd outside for your performance. You could feel eyes on you from behind, surely belonging to the speakeasy's band as they watched you curiously.

As generous and mandatory as the action was, your erratic heart beating and trembling hands made you wonder if perhaps it would all be in vain and for the worse. The audience would become enthused and wait eagerly for your no doubt stellar act, only to find that you were not even able to produce a sound other than a strangled choke.

Maybe you should've faked some horrible illness. Maybe even a broken leg. An accident leaving the frail human body unable to perform and live up to the well-known ideology that the show must go on-- just on some other day. At that dark comedic relief, you giggled nervously, lightly shifting your body to adjust to the suddenly too tight gold/silvery dress that hugged your curves quite nicely.

_'Oh, Mama... If only I could hear your advice now. What would you tell me, I wonder...?'_

"Now Darlings, I know this is my last official night here and I am terribly sad to leave you all," You could hear all of the saddened sighs and soft 'we'll miss you mettaton's that rose collectively from the audience, "But of course, I have one last treat for all of you~."

As soft questioning murmuring kicked up, you could feel your anxiety spike once more.

~~_Can't hide..._~~

'No... No anxiety in this, _never_ in this.' You shook your head and steeled your Soul with what Bravery you knew you had. 'Music... Singing is your passion. Your  _life._ You know better than to doubt yourself here, in the subject your Soul longs for.'

"I'd never leave you all with a singer that doesn't move all of your beautiful SOULS and bodies, let alone no one at all! That would be truly rude of me, don't you think?" You gripped the cool metal of your trinket once more, biting your lip at the sounds of pleased surprise and hearty whoops of anticipation. "But I'd also never bring in someone that none of you don't know. Imagine my surprise wandering over to Madame Muffet's little hole in the wall and hearing the voice of an angel--No, a _siren,_ singing on her stage and upon looking to find the owner of that seductive voice, I find a regular visitor of this fine establishment! Even a regular dancing partner and friend of myself!" Even in your nervousness, you couldn't help but snicker--Mettaton was so over the top, but he could sure work up a crowd. The murmurs rose in volume; curiosity and confusion littering the tones of those in attendance before soft surprise replaced them as you heard the click of the low-level lights go off above the seated area that you would be performing in front of.

Your free hand came up to grip the wheeled silver microphone beside you and tightened around it as Mettaon's voice rung out once more. You'd make him  _and_ yourself proud.

"Beauties and Gentlebeauties, it is my utmost pleasure to introduce our blooming wallflower to you all-- The sweet mage you all know and love, our bubbly beauty, Y/n!"

You took one last deep breath as the scene burst out in a loud cacophony of surprised and excited voices, bringing the microphone to your lips in time with the near-silent shift of the band behind you as you approached the closed curtain.

_'I wonder... Would you... Be proud of me too, Mama...?'_

* * *

Small beads of light inside Void-like sockets peered through waltzing threads of smoke, originating from cigars placed carefully on glass ashtrays resting on a mahogany table, roving over the multitude of dancing bodies with what seemed to be bored and aimless perusal.

In actuality, he was doing a lazy sort of patrol.

"See anything off-color, skele-man?" The eyelights flickered back to look at one of the few of his companions accompanying the VIP booth with him, a female muscle-bound fish monster with long scarlet hair clad in a dark suit with light vertical pin-stripes, the deep purple underneath the blazer matching his own undershirt. Her single sharp and yellow eye regarded him in question.

"...can't say anything suspicious, no." He rumbled back, the ever-present grin on his face twitching only slightly as he glanced back towards the crowd. "good for us, i'd say, undyne... but it's been kinda quiet for my tastes." A gloved finger trailed over the rim of a delicate glass, half-empty with the makings of a Bloody Mary heavy with ketchup. "m'not a fan of the waitin' game."

"Mmm... Yeah, I get ya. Many of the human groups have gone almost radio silent in the recent weeks." The fish monster, Undyne, glanced towards the congregation as well, a clawed and webbed hand that belonged her wrapped around a crystal-like glass filled to the brim of a magically enhanced whiskey of sorts. " _L'aura Multipla_ especially..." The wide skeletal grin twitched down slightly with irritation as she brought the drink to her lips and took a hearty gulp of it, shuddering slightly as the smooth liquor slid down her throat. "Makes me twitchy."

"Yes, even  _I Cuori di Ossidiana..._ " A single socket joined in the twitching of the smile it belonged to as the gaze turned to a monster of the same persuasion as himself, only a taller skeleton sporting a squarer jaw and smaller, more ovalish sockets with a suit of a lighter cream hue and the same deep purple button-up shirt as the rest of them. His volume, though usually boisterous and cheerful, was lowered due to the sensitivity and weight of the subject regardless of their positioning in the speakeasy. "Both have been... Relatively docile. It is slightly worrying, indeed."

"oi, if ya both could talk in straight english, that'd be preferable." The shorter skeleton grumbled, flicking a finger at the wide brim of the dark fedora atop his skull, flashing them both a disgruntled look. "y'know i can't speak italian."

"MAYHAPS IF YOU'D ACTUALLY ATTEMPT TO LEARN THE LANGUAGE, SANS," the skeleton beside him snickered, a mischevious twinkle in his eye-socket, "YOU WOULDN'T HAVE THE SAME FLAVOR AS THAT DISTASTEFUL DRINK IN FRONT OF YOU NOW."

Undyne, who had been bringing her drink to her lips for another sip, choked for a moment before braying laughter at the twitching of Sans' perpetual grin. It twitched one more time before relaxing into its usual lazy curve.

"ay, no need to get un- _savory_ , papyrus." The broad shoulders underneath the sharp charcoal suit he wore pushed up in a shrug as his brother beside him gave him an exaggerated angry look, no doubt because of his play on words. "you know me bro-- way too much work."

"Says the son of one of the scariest, workaholic mob bosses in existence," Undyne muttered against the lip of her glass, wiping away a tear of hilarity from her single eye. Sans shrugged once more, resting his mandible on his hand and glancing in the direction of where he could see an obnoxious (in his opinion) pink chassis weaving through the exuberant throng of people on the dance floor.

"remind me again why we're here for the calculator's 'moving-up' bash?"

"NOW NOW BROTHER, DON'T BE RUDE. YOU KNOW METTATON IS UNDER _IL CENTRO'S_  PROTECTION. BESIDES, THIS IS AN EXCITING TIME!" Papyrus admonished with a bit of laughter in his voice, toying with the brim of his own fedora he had placed in his lap. "A MONSTER REACHING STARDOM WHILE THERE IS STILL TENSION BETWEEN OUR RACE AND THE HUMANS--IT IS QUITE A WONDERFUL THING TO BE WITNESS TO. PERHAPS IT MEANS THAT RELATIONS BETWEEN US ARE SLOWLY GETTING BETTER!"

Sans couldn't help but feel his grin quirk up at the optimism glittering in his younger sibling's sockets, unable to let his natural pessimism ruin the Hope he had for the future. He had always looked at the world in such a way, even after all this time and after all they've done. He'd be damned if he, or anyone else, took that away from his brother. "...maybe, bro. there's always hope, right?"

"INDEED,  _FRATELLO!_ " And Sans knew it would always be worth protecting that sliver of innocence if his bro could always smile like that. He'd continue to protect that probity until the day he turned to dust. "OH! I THINK METTATON IS MAKING HIS MOVE ACTUALLY!" That sentence caused Sans to once again glance towards the stage, where he could indeed see a robotic humanoid strutting towards the stage in his usual over-the-top manner. "I THOUGHT HE WOULDN'T UNTIL ALPHYS GOT HERE..."

"Ngaaaaah, she should've been here by now! Where is she?!"

"speak of the drake and she shall appear..." Sans muttered lowly with a sly grin to get their attention, jerking his skull towards the entrance of the establishment to see a short, yellow scaled monster dressed in a more casual and smart looking attire anxiously bustling their way through the door past the bouncer, glancing around in a jittery fashion before catching sight of their location.

Though that probably only happened because Undyne shot up from her seat and started waving like crazy to catch her attention. "Phy! Phy, over here!!" A sense of relief came over the small monster's fidgety frame before she hurried over to their position, blushing as red as a fire engine as Undyne swooped her up of her clawed feet and promptly sat her down next to her. "I was beginnin' to think you weren't gonna make it!"

"I-I'm v-v-very sorry 'Dyne... T-there was something at the l-lab t-that required m-m-my express a-attention... B-But I'm h-here now; I-I wouldn't miss M-Mettaton's big n-night!"

"LOOK, HE'S ON STAGE NOW!" Everyone followed Papyrus' gloved point back towards the stage, where everyone could see the indisputable sight of Mettaton's ostentatious grey fur coat over his single-breasted and peak-lapeled dark blue suit, one that complimented the bright pink chassis and heeled boots the robot sported. A sultry and expertly coy grin was flashed at the audience as he snagged up a microphone and crooned to everyone in a sugary murmur.

 _"Buooooooonasera miei cari~!!_ Are we having a lovely time tonight?!"

The roar of the intimate yet merry crowd was near deafening.

" _Favoloso!_ I thank you all from the bottom of my gorgeous Soul for joining us at  _La_ _Fiamma Elegante_ for this utterly enormous event--Let's give a big hand to the band that has done a marvelous job of sweeping us off our feet tonight~!" He waved a gloved hand towards the group of musicians who tittered and blushed, looking as if the world had been given to all of them as the curtain slowly closed in front of them. "Now Darlings, I know this is my last official night here-"

"man, tin can's really layin' it on thick, ain't he...?" Sans muttered with distaste as Mettaton continued his yammering, a brow raised as Undyne snickered while Alphys shot him a deadpan.

"Y-You should b-be used to how he a-a-acts by n-now."

"if i'm ever around him long enough to get used to his personality, everyone should be worried." He intoned flatly in response, expression in a matching deadpan which caused Undyne's chuckling to turn into a cackle.

"SHHH!! HE'S GOT A SURPRISE FOR ALL OF US!" Papyrus hissed almost furiously as he brought a finger to his mouth in a shushing motion before pointing again towards the stage. Sans held back the urge to roll his eyelights yet glanced towards the stage in acceptance of his brother's excitement, albeit a bit blandly. He wasn't really all that interested in this sort of thing (not that it was  _obvious_ or anything) but he'd deal with it for Papyrus. It wasn't exactly like anything that would catch his attention was about to happen-

"Whoa, he recruited a new singer, huh?" He heard Undyne's interested murmuring across from him and perked up slightly.

"surprised he had enough humility for that..." Sans muttered back, grumbling softly as Papyrus nudged him in a scolding manner and shushed him again.

"W-While M-M-Mettaton might be a l-little insensitive due t-t-to his.....  _c-confident_ nature," a soft snort came from Sans at the understatement, along with a pointed glance from Alphys, "h-he  _does_ care about this place... A l-lot actually... He e-expressed a b-bit of sadness to m-me about moving on. W-Wasn't going to book  _anything_ until he f-found a replacement..."

"welp. he did." The shorter skeleton muttered, his gaze on the stage but obviously not really focused on it. "m'bettin' on the new squawker havin' an inflated head too; since they're 'friends'..." Papyrus sighed with subdued irritation at his brother's continued bashing of his favorite star and the being about to replace him, no longer gracing the rude remarks with a response.

"Associations with both Muffet and Mettaton though? Must be one hell of a person." Undyne hummed, sitting back and placing an arm around Alphys' shoulders (who may have squeaked in response). "To catch his and... Muffet's many eyes, y'know?"

It was a quick ticket to trouble and a silk lined cage, that's what it was.

"IT IS SOMEONE WHO FREQUENTS GRILLBY'S OFTEN AS WELL?" Papyrus blinked in utter shock before his head whipped around rapidly as if to spot the one person who was not on the scene like they usually were. "I DO NOT VISIT THIS PLACE OFTEN ENOUGH TO SPOT A MISSING PERSON OFF THE TOP OF MY SKULL...  _FRATELLO,_ WHO DO YOU THINK IT IS? YOU WOULD HAVE A BETTER CHANCE OF KNOWING THAN ANY OF US."

"...meh. way too much work." Sans grunted, yet his gaze curiously roamed over the procession anyway. He felt a small sense of relief hearing it was a regular customer--he had a good feeling that the new singer wouldn't at least have a personality that was carbon copied from Mettaton's; he knew everyone who was a regular here and none were so full of themselves to ever match the tin man.

.....At least, he knew all but one regular.

Who he coincidentally could not find.

'But... There was no way it could be her.' Sans thought, bringing the last of his Bloody Mary to his teeth and downing the rest of the liquor.The Mage? No, not possible. Mettaton may have had _brass balls_ , but there was no way in hell they were _that_ big-

"Beauties and Gentlebeauties, it is my utmost pleasure to introduce our blooming wallflower to you all-- The sweet mage you all know and love, our bubbly beauty, Y/n!"

_Aaaaaaaand, his jaw promptly hit the fucking table._

It was a good thing he already swallowed his drink; otherwise, his brother would already be screeching in his earhole about how disgusting it was to see refreshments lingering in his mouth.

".....That someone you know personally, skele-man?" Undyne chuckled, having to raise her already loud voice to be heard above the congregation going absolutely fucking insane. "You look like someone told you they started making ketchup bottles double-industrial sized!" At that, Sans shut his mouth so quickly it made an audible click, and hurriedly tried to muscle together some kind of composure.

"OOOO, PERHAPS SOMEONE YOU'VE...  _CANOODLED_ WITH?" Papyrus inquired impishly, wiggling his bonebrows in such a manner that only caused him to splutter more. "AND APPARENTLY ENAMORED BY AS WELL!"

"...n-nah, don't be stupid; i don't know the gal a bit," he managed to cough out,  _really_ not liking all the predatory grins he was gaining from his 'family'. "don't go assumin' shit."

"A-A person in a G-Grillby joint t-that you don't know s-s- _something_ about?" The incredulous skepticism on Alphys' face was... Mildly insulting. "I-I call bullshit."

"i'm serious dammit!" Sans cursed, swiping off his fedora and glaring at the devilishly thrilled expressions. He wasn't one to lose his cool easily, so seeing him flustered was a rare treat-- one, as you can imagine, he didn't like anyone tasting. "yeah, she's been around for months, but I haven't got a word or gasp from the dame yet. tried approachin' for conversation a couple o' times, but the crowd ends up blockin' my path and next thing i know, the skirt's gone AWOL until th' next evenin'. flightier than a bird, i tells ya." He could feel his fingers twitch slightly, rubbing against the hem of his cap as he wished he had a cigar on him. He could hear his natural Brooklyn accent and winced; he kept it hidden as best as possible, as it didn't help make the best portrayal of him being Second in Command of one of the most dangerous Monster Mafias in existence. The fact that it was making an appearance now was a testament to his current agitation. "best i can do is ask around for info and watch the moll from afar. ain't got much on 'er, not even STATS."

"......Soooooooo," Undyne drawled out as the lights of the establishment began to dim, "Stalking."

The infuriating fish merely cackled at his discomfiture when he tossed his fedora at her in retaliation, before all movement came to a screeching halt as piano notes floated into existence and there was a slow disturbance behind the stage's curtain.

Mettaton smirked as he sauntered down of the stage, a knowing glint in his optic sensor as he waved at the curtain with a flourish. All movement in the building went still as a voice, heady as red wine and sweet as saccharine, began to hum an opening tune; a bare leg (a long and damn gorgeous one), with foot adorned in a tasteful silver and not too high heel broke through the slit of the heavy fabric before pushing it aside enough to reveal... 

_...Holy. Shit._

_'damn... she... she's...'_

"Wowie..." Papyrus murmured, his volume lowered with quiet awe while loud gasps and fervent wolf whistles sounded from the congregation. "She's... Radiant."

"V-Very pretty..." Alphys agreed with rapid nodding.

"A looker for sure, hot damn." Undyne breathed, blinking a few times before pulling Alphys a bit closer. "Not as gorgeous as you, of course; but she's definitely hot."

Sans himself couldn't help but ignore Alphys' flustered spluttering for the sight of you, all dolled up. Before now, he had only seen you dressed in a combination of either long button up shirts and slacks, or a blouse with skirts that never ended above the knee. Nice and classy, yes, but the colors were always muted and you tended to keep your arms and legs covered. Nothing flashy or suggestive in the slightest. He figured that was your style. 

But wow. You _worked_ that dress.

A backless dress that was form-fitting around the torso, gold around the bust and the color fading into silver the further the dress went down your body. The dress parted into a slit around your left leg which began just below your hip, which of course was not a fashion choice made for covering and thus showed off your athletic yet nicely curved leg dressed in a dark sheer thigh high stocking.

Your hair was styled tastefully, dark and refined eyeshadow, thick fluttery eyelashes, and your lips painted a pretty mauve accented by a bronzy-gold; which were curved up in a beguiling smile.

Your half-lidded gaze slid sinuously over the gathering as if slowly acknowledging everyone in attendance before your eyes fell shut completely.

And then you took a deep breath in time with the diminishing volume of the band behind you... Before belting out into song as the music picked back up.

 

_Some people live for the fortune_

_Some people live just for the fame_

_Some people live for the power, yeah_

_Some people live just to play the game_

 

You winked towards the audience, gripping the microphone staff and crooning softly to the dumbstruck assemblage. But you weren't close to through yet. Yellow and glittering magic, the color of smooth candlelight, began to twine around your slender fingers and casting a sensual glow onto your face. There were soft sounds of awe as the magic spiraled around your arms and down your form to your feet, where visions of glittering baubles and gold began to fade into sight at your feet. You bent down nonchalantly to snatch up a gold coin, staring at it in seeming disinterest as you flicked it back and forth between your fingers.

 

_Some people think that the physical things define what's within_

 

You tossed away the coin with a played up look of disgust and as it fell to join its brethren, the illusion melted away as you sauntered towards the right side of the stage, pulling the wheeled microphone along with your sure steps.

 

_And I've been there before, and that life's a bore_

_So full of the superficial~_

 

You twirled back towards the center, smiling brilliantly as the music swelled and you poured your heart, your very  _Soul,_ into your voice as if it was the only thing that kept you standing.

 

_Some people want it all_

_But I don't want nothing at all_

_If it ain't you baby_

_If I ain't got you baby_

 

You began to sway your hips in timing with the song and around this time, the crowd had started to snap out of their silent shock as if becoming aware of the spell they were under yet not wanting to escape it; appreciative whistles and callings of your name floated in the air and those at the very edge of the stage below you began reaching out in hopes that you would lean down to brush your hands against theirs.

 

_Some people want diamond rings_

_Some just want everything_

_But everything means nothing_

_If I ain't got you, yeah~_

 

Your magic crescendoed beside you in a pyramid formation and then abated to reveal an honest to god water fountain, in which you sat on and sassily crossed your legs as if you could feel all of the astonishment at the sudden appearance of a large obstruction and your total nonchalance to it by simply dipping your fingers into the crystal blue water. You tilted the microphone down so you could purr into it, the long stand being leaned into your body.

 

_Some people search for a fountain_

_That promises forever young_

 

You giggled a bit as various 'ooh's and 'ahh's floated up to you, took your hand out of the water and teasingly flicked it towards those in the audience closest to you. There were utterly pleased squeals of 'how real it felt', causing you to chuckle and lift yourself back up to your feet. With a twirl, the fountain was gone and the microphone in your hands was now a huge bouquet of roses. You brandished the flower arrangement towards everyone as if trying to give it to them, still swaying your hips in beat with the music.

 

_Some people need three dozen roses_

_And that's the only way to prove you love them_

 

The bouquet was tossed up and seemed to combust mid-air, and suddenly the whole room was being showered with rose petals that drifted from sight the closer they drifted to the floor. Your smile was blinding at all of the cheering you gained and once again the microphone was in your hands again as you made the stage work for you. You looked confident, unerring; as if you were created to do the very thing you were doing now. You bent down to grasp a few hands with those still reaching out to you, your expression charming and tactile.

Sans' breath was suddenly a bit short.

"Oi, Romeo!" The skeleton jolted out of his trance at the abrasive whisper hissed his way, glancing away from you and towards Undyne who was giving him a meaningful look. "You said you weren't able to find anything about her, yeah? Take off those rose-tinted glasses ya got on and CHECK her; She can't exactly disappear right now!"

"shut yer trap..." Sans seethed back in a bit of embarrassment, but found merit in the idea; he wasn't sure if you had known who he was and had been avoiding him if you did but even if that was the case, you couldn't just  _fly the coop_ if you spotted him watching you a bit too intensely.

'well, since this is as good as an opportunity as any...' He thought, his eyelights flickering back towards you and attempting to focus on your Soul.

 

_Hand me the world on a silver platter_

_And what good would it be_

_With no one to share_

_With no one who truly cares for me_

 

_Some people want it all_

_But I don't want nothing at all_

_If it ain't you baby_

_If I ain't got you baby_

 

_Some people want diamond rings_

_Some just want everything_

_But everything means nothing_

_If I ain't got you, you, you-_

 

You swept up with a flourish, throwing your hand out to the crowd and singing with such feeling, such  _intensity_ , that everyone could feel it as your glimmering magic flirted with your hair. Everyone could feel from the very aura your magic gave off that the song was swelling to its ending. It was almost as if your Soul was open and giving as utterly possible.

But Sans... All he could see was golden smoke with several streaks of blue. He blinked in confusion then squinted unconsciously as he tried to peer through the hazy curtain of magic surrounding what should have been your Soul.

...He could barely see anything.

 

_Some people want it all_

_But I don't want nothing at all_

_If it ain't you baby_

_If I ain't got you baby_

 

_Some people want diamond rings_

_Some just want everything_

_But everything means nothing_

_If I ain't got you, yeah~_

 

The room fell hushed as your voice dipped low and you slowly turned away from the crowd, taking slow steps to the curtain with a definite swing to your hips and pushing aside part of it so you'd have room to slip through. Yet you paused, glanced back to the crowd with a smirk that curled knowingly and murmured into the mic as if bidding a lover or admirer adieu.

And Sans caught a glimmer of something... Something reflective within all of the fog and mist.

 

_If I ain't got you with me baby_

_So nothing in this whole wide world don't mean a thing_

_If I ain't got you with me, baaabyyyy~..._

And then with a single step and a wisp of yellow magic that dismissed all of the rose petals still floating from the ceiling from sight, you vanished behind the curtain.

 

......

 

Sans felt slightly sick as uproarious ovation exploded around the joint, ardent and impassioned as people practically screamed your name, enthusiastically calling for an encore. His grip was tight upon his fedora and he stared blankly at the stage, sure his sockets was as black as the Void. He had only caught a glimpse of some basic STATS, but what he had seen...

How on fucking earth could Mettaton recruit you for  _here?_

"fucking idiot..." Sans hissed sibilantly as he felt his zygomatic bones contort almost angrily. "you hire someone with an LV like  _that?!_ "

All eyes at his table flashed towards him in shock, their cheers and clapping cutting off almost eerily.

"...S-She's got LV...?"

"loads." He replied, feeling twitchy as he watched Mettaton sashay back onto the stage and speaking to the audience once again. "something isn't quite right though..."

 _"Details bonehead,"_ Undyne spoke lowly, her whole body tensing as if she was preparing for a fight and her single eye filled with a serious light. "Specifics. Quickly."

"it was surprisingly hard to get a look at her soul, y'know; i only got a quick peek before she did her exit, so it may be a mistake, but..."

"What. Was. The LOVE,  _Sans?_ "

"...thirteen." Sans grumbled, somber. "exp of about four thousand. hp of sixty-eight. thirty-four atk. thirteen def."

Silence seemed to be the name of the game of today before a baffled sound came from the taller skeleton beside him.

"Brother," Papyrus began, looking fairly confused, "Are those not...  _Your_ STATS?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello lovelies; apologies for how long it's taking me to update any of my stories-- I'm experiencing my first severe art and writing burnout. It's not a very pleasant thing to go through.
> 
> On a lighter note though, I was hanging out with a friend who's not into the Undertale fandom like I am (she's played the game and liked it but still), and I'm explaining the plot I have lined up for this story and she's just smirking at me in that fond 'I can't believe this' way. When I talk about my stories and ideas I get super fucking excited and end up rambling, so then I spot her looking at me like this, cut off mid-sentence and ask what's wrong and she goes-
> 
> 'You legit have two brothers and their dad in a relationship with the same. Damn. Girl.'
> 
> 'Yes.'
> 
> '.....Why?'
> 
> 'Functional polyamories is my aesthetic, don't judge me.'
> 
> And as she's cackling, I'm grinning like the devil and thinking-- 
> 
>  
> 
> _'So this is how the other half lives...' ___


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